...but 1st...myDisclaimer!!!

..all contents r solely derived from my own perspectives & xperiences with good intentions@heart. it is by your own choice and falls under your own responsibility should u decide to quote/follow/elaborate/use/purchase any part/all of these. choices are in your hands...make d most out of them. learn about Karma....i'm not perfect..n so r u... We live 2 complement each other, agree to disagree on certain matters, make mistakes, learn lessons from them, BE A BETTER PERSON and move on with our lives....shall we??? Next!!!

27.6.11

...about time...i wash my hands clean....

Like a drug addict....just released from rehab....he went back home & seek forgiveness from his parents and siblings....they forgave him and tried to forget what has happened.  Took him back just like before, loved him again and treat him as normal.

A month later.....

Things gone missing again in the house....a lot of bickering going on about stuff missing...accusations, blaming, nagging....even fighting......& soon he was back on the same track...again....lost in the Never-Neverland....what is wrong?????

Like the family above, i tried....against all odds, bend over backwards....gave chances hoping that things will be different.....but....there's only so much that one can do....the rest is up to U!!!!

...i've tried....s part of my 'community project'....but U don't seem 2  b interested to move forward....having fun with your misery and selling your sob stories.....my eyes are wide open now...and there's no turning back. It takes two to tango....i wasn't interested to tango at all in the beginning.....but i always thought that ...."ahhhhh.....what the heck, let's just try.....who knows there might be some light at the end of the tunnel"....but U seem to be digging the tunnel further & further.....& my light is getting dimmer and dimmer (pasal battery pun dah nak abes kan! kahkahkah....sempat lagi!)....m sorry...

U're on your own now.....i wish you the best & pray that someday Allah will show you the way....coz we've tried and we're very tired......& it's not fair to others as well.........so.....all the best 2 U......and this is the point where i wash my hands clean....i mean it!

25.6.11

....yess dear...only U can change YOUR life...nobody else can.....

i:  ....so, how's yr day today?
u:  .....macam biasa...mesti kena
i:...hehe...kena apa kali ni?
u:...mcm biasa.....ada jerr yg x kena...x pagi..noon...x noon...evening...or even midnite....ikut2 nasib ler....nasib baik skali jer sehari...nasib x baik....all shifts kena...
i:...so???
u:  arini cakap pasal benda yg sama lagi...isu dah basi....asyik2 suruh improve3x.. x de benda lain dah nak cakap....sama jer...i have feelings 2 u know....how can they treat me like this.  i'm not small kids anymore...i'm old oredy....they think i'm what??? stupid???
i:...so...u told them or not about ketidakpuashatian u???
u:......ahhhhhhh! malaslarrrr....malas nak menjawabbb...nanti kata i kurang hajar larrr....mcm2 nanti....kang apa2 jadi salah kita jugak.....pasal i kan penyebab segalanya.......rasa macam x de life!!!
i: *sigh*....ingat x the last time kita bincang pasal benda ni? Apa yg i ckp kat u.....tell them d truth....apa u x stuju, u voice out larrr....when u voice out at least they know where u stand, kalau u x voice out, itu larrr jadinya....it's like u're handing over your life to them...itu yg diorang buat sesuka hati tu......
u:....ahhhhhh....sama jerrrrr.....cakap ker...x cakap ker....sama jer....*komplen lagi pasal isu semasa yg sama*  tu yang i malas tu...bila buat adaaaaa jerrrr yg x kena...itu salah...ini salah....bila tak buat....laaaaagiiiiii larrrrrr salah besar.....habes tu mcm mana?
i:....*staring sharply at her*....u tengok skarang ni....tengok & ingat perkataan i betul2.....from now on, i nak u to tell them exactly what u told me...voice out....pasal no point u bagitau i...asyik2 complaint yang sama....how long u nak jadi macam ni.....in the past boleh larr u salahkan diorang....tapi now???  i don't blame them for behaving that way 2 u also....pasal u pun x nak stand up for yourself!!! it's like u merendah2kan diri u dan kebolehan u sendiri & others can see that!!! It is soooooo OBVIOUS!!! Kalau u sendiri x yakin dengan diri u, manakan pulak orang.....u gotto give yourself a chance to stand for you!!!  They might forever be like that, but U can change this coz only U can control yourself & change your destiny!!! Now...from what i c, u're letting them control your life!!! How can this b??? you yang sepatutnya control your life....bukan orang lain!!!  Perangai depa kita x boleh kawal....but ours....ours we can control....so, decide from now that u'll take control of your life.....only U can do it!!! i can c that u can.....but y can't u??? *long silence*......so.....how?
u:  ntah larrrr....i dah malass.......
i:  no....u pikir apa yg i cakap.....nobody can help u but yourself....just u & yourself.....otherwise, there's no point living like this......

..............pikir2 kan lahhhh.....................

22.6.11

The Construction of D List of 'Things Dat i Wanna Do B4 i Migrate'!!

Tahun ni, my birthday is declared s public holiday....seperti tahun2 yg dah melepas & terlepas.....pasal slalu sangat coincide dengan HRH Agong kita.....wahhhhhh.....sapa jerr boleh declare holiday masa birthday dia.....i jerrrrr....jangan jeles k!  Hahahahaha...prasan!  Tahun terakhir 30an....*sigh*...Sidetracked kejap...errrr apa nak cakap tadi huh??? Owhhh....list ituuuuu....

K...k....so far list itu masih berada di dalam kepala i....tak tahu nak taruk sequence nyer mcam mana.  Di sini i nak kongsikan bersama2 u olls so that whenever i 'hilang' my head, u olls boleh remind i....kannnn....apa guna kawan kannnnn......

Ok...ni i list out dulu larrrr....bukan mengikut sequence yg sepatutnyer k.....

1.  Lough out LOUD....really..will not hold back...takde mana mak nak jadik pompuan Melayu terakhir k.....bayangkan kalo i ketawa mcm ala-ala bersopan-santun....pasti dah akhir zaman tuhhh!
2.  Nak blajar jadik Romantika D'Amor...pasal En.Hubs komplen kita ni x romantik lansung.....dahhhhh...suhh pompuan koboi blajar jadi minah bunga.....tebiat haper???? X pe larrr....kita cuba juga....
3.  Jaga ibu saya sebaiknya sehingga ke akhir hayat either 1 of us (saya dah cuba yg sebaiknya to my late Ayah)
4.  Membina rumah idaman saya di Janda Baik....kenapa Janda Baik???  i punya suka larrrrrr!
5.  Backpacking to Europe with Mr. Hub & my brother....(ada 2 thn lagi....pasal kena buat sbelum brother itu kawen)
6.  Mengerjakan Umrah bersama keluarga
7.  Mengerjakan Haji bersama keluarga
8.  Lebihkan ketawa & senyum (pasal byk orang kata if i don't smile...muka manyakk sombong!)...kesiannnn i....
9.  Increase time to think from 10 minutes to 15 minutes
10.  More traveling....have money will travel
11. Beli Mini Cooper (keta paling perfect bagi saya....utk retirement!)
12. Habiskan Master ini dalam 1.5 tahun!
13. Make time for crafts....ONGOING...x sangka saya agak crafty....nak setup proper shop!
15. Take guitar lessons.....pasal piano mahal & bagak sangat! x mobile lak tuh!
16. Permintaan En. Hubs...... suruh beli lebih banyak insurance & namakan dia sebagai beneficiary nyer....BOLEH????  sukahati jerrrrr.......tapi still boleh larr di considerkan utk dok dlm list ini jugak....
17.  G tengok Piramid & masuk dalam piramid......DONE!
18.  G visit empayar Inca, Tibet & Luxor (tengah kompol $$$)
19.  G visit dan lepak ngan kazen saya di Texas selama sebulan (kalo dia nak terima i larrr)
20.  Setup Community Psychotherapy/Counselling Centre di Janda Baik....sebab saya rasa kebanyakan kita suka lari dari segalanya.......so.......i tot i'd like to give back to our community this way......

lots more....tapi nanti kita sambung lagi ekkk.....

18.4.11

Birthday Present....1st time buat....

Tahun ni dia mintak i bake cuppies utk her friends, teachers, geng bas skolah, dll.....memula ingat nak order jer dari kawan i....pasal x penah (buang tebiat) bake cuppies siap deco...so....there's always 1st time for everything right???? pernah larrr try wat cuppies bogel....maksudnyer x de topping...x sedap lansung....so...niat dalam hati "ni buat utk anakku....lambang kasih sayangku pada dia" teringat org kata...if u cook/bake with lots of love in yr heart, those yg makan akan rasa 'love' itewwww....yerrr kerr???? ntahhh....yerrr kotttt!

So...2 big boxes (50 pcs) gone to school, 2 boxes to geng bas skolah n kawan kat umah....d rest...around 10 pcs jerr utk personal consumption.....LICIN....alhamdulillah....siap balik dengan request suruh buat lagi....saya x pandai larr bab2 bake nih...tengok larr deco nyer....sangat bodo jerrr....x artistik lansung....maap lerrr....arts fail larr dulu!!!  Mungkin rasa ok kut....Kuttttt larrrr (ishhh...nk gak sedapkan hati!).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAYANG....mama loves u always! more & more each day!
Thank u for always finishing those food that i've cooked.....sama ada sedap atau tak....HAHAHAHA!